Never Good Enough

Never good enough
For myself
I honestly try so hard
And kick myself back down

I can't impress myself
Too much imperfection in my way
Too many scars and pain

All these memories
Well all these sad things
I'm worn out and tired
Why can't I leave myself be?

I'm dragging myself down
Right until I pass the ground
I feel the water waiting
To drown me out

I've asked myself
What good am I doing here?
Why do I still exist?

Why do I breathe
When I feel like I don't deserve it
Or deserve anything

Somehow I still breathe
Somehow I haven't given up
Though I want too
Since I'm not good enough
For myself

Nobody can drag me down
Not like I can
I always seem to be losing myself

Honestly I've tried so hard
As the years go by
I wonder if there's really any hope
They try to give me hope

I'm dragging myself down
Past the ground
Into the water
Where I know I'll drown

If somehow I become good enough
If somehow I love myself
If somehow I am happy
Then maybe I'll be free

But so far it's not in black and white
Everything looks so grey
Which is the right way to go
And which way will bring pain?

I'm drowning in my own defeat
I've lost it all
But I still keep
The memories that keep me alive

My friends and family
I do keep close to my heart
Where they will be
For they have kept me alive so far

But when I lose them all
I fear inside I'll never belong again
Just lost in time
Not knowing where my path will end

I'm trying to be everything
That I have always wanted to be
I'm trying, but I want to give up
So many times I've wanted to

Right now
I won't give it up
No I can't because
It's all for you

If I was gone
I know it won't be alright
I know you'll miss me so much
I'm so sorry
I know I can't give up 

                                                                                                                              -LoversFinalStand