I Love Her but She Loves Me Not

         Life is kind of hectic so I spend most of my time alone over thinking and re-thinking. Today I went under my favorite tree and looked up at the stars. They looked so beautiful. With all the light being on where I reside there wasn't much stars to see but the ones you did see were so beautiful. I thought of her and how after almost 3 years my feelings for her are undefined. I love her.Yes..This apathetic blogger has a soft spot and she is it. I don't love but she is the only exception which scares the crap out of me especially because she doesn't feel the same way. I've made life altering changes for her but still it doesn't seem to be enough. I just don't seem good enough then all the insecurities come in and I become overwhelmed. I thought about life without her and it was hard to imagine since she is the person I go to when I'm in need of advice. She knows so much about me and still doesn't show any interest. Maybe I'm just too fucked up in the head and with all my emotions and she just doesn't want to deal with that. It makes sense when you over think, analyze, and re-analyze every bit of it.She has shown me my insecurities and cause some of my insecurities. That feeling of not good enough. I just want to take her out on a romantic picnic with flowers and candles and a nice sunset or to a dinner and a movie . Is that so bad ? Instead, I lay under my favorite tree looking up at the stars wondering what ifs and Making wishes I know wont come true.
       Letting go is certainly easy said then done. I say I'm letting go but once I see her again all the old feelings will come back and I would again be confused with the abundance of feelings I feel for her. I just don't want to be a bother to her so I don't text her. I don't want to seem like an emotional wreck so I don't say I love when I want to. Having to play that friend role when you know your in love with the person is really hard.This is just my late night venting before I lay to bed and sleep.Goodnight

Song of my night

Adele - Can't Make You Love Me Video and Lyrics 

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me closely
Don't patronize
Don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something that it won’t
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I will feel the power but you won't
No you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't
When you don't

I'll close my eyes
'Cause then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're home with me
Morning will come
And I’ll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something that it won’t
And here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
I will feel the power but you won't
No you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me
When you don't
When you don't

Poetry

I love poetry. I want to write a whole bunch of them during the summer. I saw you this video and I must say she is amazing. Watch and comment on your thoughts.

L.O.V.E ?!

L-O-V-E

Definition (wikipedia) : is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment.

Personal Definition: That scary feeling you get when you can't get someone out of your head our out of your mind.When all the love songs start to become relate-able.When reality is way better then anything you can ever dream of just because one person is present in your life. A day without that special individual is unbearable.

Positive: Someone makes you happy , makes you smile, makes you laugh, makes each day worthwhile.

Negative: HEARTBREAK


**Before falling in love, know what you are getting yourself into. Comment with agree or disagree or anything.
 

When you read this did someone come to mind ?

                    I LOVE YOU, MISS YOU, NEED YOU

                                      

I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
I love you more as each moment passes us by.
I love you more with every breath I take.
I love you more with each promise we make.

I need you like a flower needs the rain.
I need you for you can wash away my pain.
I need you more each day
I need you for you are so wonderful, in every single way.

I miss you more than ever now.
I miss you because I really need you somehow.
I miss you for to me, you mean so much.

 

I want you to look into my eyes and see my love for you.
I want you to hold me close to your heart.
I want you to know that I love you, need you, miss you, and 

                                           want you
And I have for every single moment, right from the start.

                                         

                                         Author: Emily

Miss you

One of those days when she runs through my mind like shes running an endless marathon. Miss her more especially today when my brother made an insulting comment about the way I dress. I knew if I was texting her it wouldn't have hurt so much. She is my peace of mind. Saw this poem and she was the immediate thought that came to mind.

Everything to Me
You are the light when there is no sun.
You are the rainbow after the rain is done.
You are the star that twinkles in the night.
You are the moon that glows so bright.
You are the wind that whistles my name.
You are the love when the world is the same.
You are the flowers the bee's never miss.
You are the beach the warm sun kisses.  - catherine

Looks like its going to be a night of Adele and lauryn Hill as the thoughts of you move through my mind.