I try and I try but It will never be

I saw this post on Facebook by an awesome friend of mine and I can totally relate. 

"Hii. Imy a lot. Idk... I just stopped talking to you cus I felt it was whatever to you, & you kinda confirmed that by not hittin me up either. I have a hard time when I'm not directed the utmost attention. That's just me. I still think your cool. & by cool I mean worthy. That's it. Bye."

OMG Its weird because I can so relate to this.Like I'm stuck on someone I love deeply but like its not the same way  reciprocal. Basically meaning,I feel a certain way about them but they don't feel the same.As soon as I say I give up I get a text or message from the person saying something and then I instantly go back to being stuck.Starting tonight,I say no more.I'm tired of it.In the words of Adele, That's it I quit...I'm moving on.I really mean it this time no text or message will change my opinion.My mind is made up. I even used this pick up line that I made up all by myself on them..It was a waste.The pickup line was:  Can I be your Jo calderone and it could just be Yoü And I.<--That took a lot of brain power to come up with.Time and brain power wasted.I know better next time. I'm going to be worried about me all the time.No more Heartbreaks.

                                                                                                                             -Forever Heartbroken

I'm Gaga For Lady Gaga

I love her & that alter ego <3

Upset she won nothing at the VMA's

To Everyone worried about Hurricane Irene

 

Or do my favorite

Know Your Friends

I learned something today that you have to know your friends.When people say "how many friend you have..??" I will say a lot and that is in fact true.But if you ask how many best friends I have I will say none.I learned that you can't just make give someone that title.They have to earn it.As for as i can see,No one has earned that title yet so for right now I'm just chilling with having many friends.I'm okay with that.I love Lil Wayne and I'm watching his Lil Wayne takeover and I'm so inspired.I love this man he tries so hard and does so well for himself.

8*8 crumb cake,Movies,And some tears

Idk....I'm really sensitive to all this I've been all by myself all day by choice and well very emotional.Still missing my Mommy .I will not continue writing this post.I'm to sad to continue but I will leave you with a song.This song:

Celine Dion:All By Myself

That moment when you need a friend and noone is there

I feel like crap.I've been crying locked in my room all day.I would eat but food don't taste the same.This is worst then the time I found out than the time My first love didn't feel the same.I got over that.I miss my mummy.This is kind of a Celine Dion day instead of a Aaliyah one.I am trying to be strong for the little ones but I'm tired of showing strength why cant I just show weakness for once.

Celine Dion-My heart will go on

She's Gone :'(

Currently,My little sister is crying her eyes out.My mom has left to go to Haiti for a few days.She really didn't have a choice she had to return my nephew back to his parents.This has brought sadness to my house.She keeps saying she wants mommy back and well I am clue less.I can't make my mom magically appear neither can I make my awesome 5 year old sister stop crying.I Don't know what to do at all.I haven't been this sad since I realized how much stuff is wrong with me.I'll keep you posted on the whole "no mummy at home" thing.But for now every one is deeply sad and for some strange reason this song keeps playing over and over.

Celine Dion-I'm Your Lady

Early Morning Craving

Yes..I should be sleeping but like all the nights of this summer I just can't seem to snooze(sleep). I really don't know what it is but I sleep really late.By the time I wake up the day is half over.That is going to change but not now since I enjoy it so much :). Me and my bro are practically twins when it comes to early morning cravings.Tonight we were both crazing for some fudge cake and I must say I've been craving cake for quite some nights now.We set out to cook/bake it(which ever one that it the correct term). It came out bad.Its still edible but still I feel like its a disgrace to chocolate fudge all over the world.This cooking/baking(whichever you choose to call it) was terrible.I feel so ashamed.Well yesterday Me and my sis meditated and I must say for a six year old she is very good at relaxing.I've realize that well I can't just one day choose to all of a sudden change my lifestyle. I have to slowly do. It may take days/weeks at a time.Although I think it is true that attachment leads to suffering but I can't just be a caveman and give up technology that's absurd.Well actually I can but not in one day.It will take some time if that is what I decide to do.It actually is not.I've decided to give up on feelings and emotions.Its really easy I really dislike talking about my feelings in the first place so I am happy to be doing that.NO MORE FEELINGS/EMOTIONS<--by this I'm referring to like love and all that other mushy stuff.No more of that.Love always seems to bring heartbreak when it comes to town so no more.I would rather be focused on my schoolwork or myself for that matter than be in love.
                                                                                                                                      -Forever Frigid(FF)

A Clean Home Is a Happy House :)

I've been up cleaning and washing.I am very much tired now but at least my house is squeaky clean.I feel so much better.My sickness is gone.I am letting go of the things I am attached to and I must say it feels good.No phone,Facebook,Tumblr,etc.I am doing good for someone who is addicted to social networks.Adele is helping me through it all her music/voice is amazing.I want to go for a run but I'm afraid If I start I wont stop so I'm just going to..

My song of the moment that is oh so relevant is:
"Hiding My Heart"-Adele

This is how the story went
I met someone by accident
who blew me away
blew me away
And It was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow and you took my pain
And buried them away, you buried them away

I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
you'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away

Dropped you off at the train station
Put a kiss on top of your head
And watched you wave
And watched you wave
Then I went on home to my skyscrapers
Neon lights and waiting papers
That I call home
I call that home

I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
Away, yeah

Woke up feeling heavy hearted
I'm going back to where I started
The morning rain
The morning rain
And though I wish that you were here
on that same old road that brought me here
It's calling me home
It's calling me home

I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away

I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away
                                                                                                                            -Forever Hiding My Heart